Girl on her first day at school, having been helped by a teacher to cut an apple for snack: “Oooo. My apple has turned into a flower.” She told another teacher “We pushed and pushed on the apple until it became a flower.”<\/p>\n
Child1 (to teacher): “Can you tell the other teachers that we have disappeared and you don’t know where we are? Say we went on holiday but you don’t know which country\u2026” \u00a0Child2: “We could go to Austria with the baby?” \u00a0Child1: “No, it’s better if Miss Nan doesn’t know where we go and we will hide, okay?” Child2: “Yes! Let’s go nowhere!”\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n The teacher is at the door greeting the children and one of the older boys walks in, shaking hands firmly with her, and says “I couldn’t come to school today on my scooter and wear my helmet because it would mess up my hair”.<\/span><\/p>\n A ex-pupil talking to her mother: “Is Miss Felicity still the headmystery?”<\/strong><\/p>\n She was a bit nervous on our way to St James (perhaps I was the one nervous!), and she said to me “Mummy I want to get back to Iverna Gardens on Monday and Tuesday and Wednesday and Thursday and Friday”. I said of course, and then she added “I want to go to Iverna Gardens until I am an adult”.<\/p>\n Teacher describing the period before the Big Bang:<\/strong> “You know I miss my grandparents.” “You’re the best teacher in the whole world. The world is nice because of you.”<\/strong><\/p>\n “Daddy, I have to go to school now” “I’m a bit tired. My mummy woke me up at midnight because it was already morning.”<\/strong><\/p>\n Mum to daughter: “What do you think you’ll do at school today?” Not for the first time, little girl says: “I love everything about Iverna Gardens.”<\/strong> Teacher to little girl: “What do you like about the school?” “My sister is growing bigger and bigger like me and I’m growing bigger and bigger like you. Miss Emily”<\/strong><\/p>\n “My Mummy cried on my first day at school so I had to take her home.”<\/p>\n Little girl: “The baby is sleeping at home because Mummy says we’ve got to keep it”<\/strong><\/p>\n “We have to draw a map so we know what planet we’re on”<\/p>\n Teacher discussing Thanksgiving: “What would you like to give thanks for? Little girl:”Frogs! “Why frogs?” “Because when you kiss them they turn into princes”<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/div>\n\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t Teacher discussing evolution: “Where do you think the sun comes from?” Child: “Holiday”<\/p>\n\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t Child to father at home: “Where’s Mummy?”<\/strong> Child: “I went to a pizza restaurant.” Doing insect terminology cards, discussing why the insect had legs towards the top of its body: “I know why – in case he wants to do a headstand.”<\/strong><\/p>\n Doing the timeline of her life a little girl asked by her teacher: “What did you turn after two?” replied “Left”<\/p>\n Little boy looking at a\u00a0 book with the planets of the solar system:<\/strong> “First, I’m going to be a builder, then a doctor, then a chef, then a grown-up.”<\/p>\n “I can hear and see my feet walking in the snow.”<\/strong><\/p>\n My birthday is far away. We have to get a bus to get to January!<\/p>\n Little boy talking to teacher about the fact that she is pregnant and the baby is in her tummy: “Why did you eat your baby?”<\/strong><\/p>\n Little boy wanting the teacher to put his gloves on: Little boy when asked by his mother to show his sister around the classroom: “She has eyes.”<\/strong><\/p>\n Little girl while making a family tree: “I wish I had a family tree in my garden.”<\/p>\n “Miss Charlotte, what is this called?”<\/strong> Miss Felicity to little boy: “You are sweet enough to eat. Can I eat you?” Miss Felicity: “What do you want to be in the school concert?”\u00a0<\/strong> “Miss Kate, Miss Kate, do you know that I wrote my name in the snow? I had to write it really small so that my hands did not get too cold.”<\/p>\n Little girl: “I speak so many languages – French, English, American and Babyish”<\/strong><\/p>\n Little girl: “My great, great, great, great grandfather went to heaven.” “I used to have legs like a chair. But a chair does not have knees like me.”<\/strong><\/p>\n Little boy before the concert: “Sing so your parents’ hearts fill with happiness” Little boy coming down the stairs with a sore thumb: “I’ve hurt my fum.”<\/strong> During Summer School on Ancient Egypt: During the “Living Eggs” fortnight, where the children witness chicks hatching in an incubator, one little girl wondered where her chicken pox had come from: “Mummy, do you think I got it from the chicks?”<\/strong><\/p>\n “My mummy married in Sweden and I had to wait a year until I came out”<\/p>\n “Stop in the name of the law of gravity”<\/strong><\/p>\n A teacher asked a little boy who was looking at the fish tank what he thought the fish were doing: “They’re doing yoga.”<\/p>\n At harvest: “When I give things away, I feel happier.”<\/strong><\/p>\n Boy to girl: “Broom the hair out of your eyes.”<\/p>\n Twin sisters talking about going to primary school:<\/strong> Two and a half year old girl walking to first day of school with her mother: “I’m so tired I can’t think. Will this be a problem?”<\/p>\n Whilst making her map of Europe, a girl was asked by her teacher:<\/strong> Teacher to little girl: “What is a caterpillar?” Teacher: “This is a house fly.”<\/strong> Three boys: “Spiderman climbs walls”. “Batman flies”. “So does Superman”
\n“There were no planets, no people, no animals…”<\/strong>
\nLittle boy: “There were no play-dates!”<\/strong><\/p>\n
\nTeacher: “Where do they live?”
\n“They live on holidays.”<\/p>\n
\n“But, it’s six in the morning!”
\n“Yes, but I’m very busy.”<\/p>\n
\nDaughter: “It’s a surprise … every day is a surprise.”<\/p>\n
\nMother: “Is there really nothing you don’t like about Iverna Gardens?”<\/strong>
\nPause… little girl: “Well, it doesn’t have a fireman’s pole.”<\/strong><\/p>\n
\n“The teachers.”
\n“Why do you like the teachers?”
\n“Because they love me.”<\/p>\n
\nFather: “She’s gone to a talk by Miss Felicity on evolution. She’ll be back soon.”<\/strong>
\nChild: “She won’t be back soon. Evolution takes a very, very long time.”<\/strong><\/p>\n
\nTeacher: “Was it Pizza Express?”
\nChild: “No, it didn’t move.”<\/p>\n
\n“I can’t live on Earth because it is too blue and cold, not on Jupiter because it is too orange, I can’t get into Saturn because of the rings- that’s why I live on Venus.”<\/strong><\/p>\n
\n“Please Miss Ruthie can you put my hands on?”<\/p>\n
\n“Fairy Liquid”<\/strong>
\n“How do the fairies make it?”<\/strong><\/p>\n
\nSerious answer: “No. Have a bite of my biscuit.”<\/p>\n
\n“Spiderman!”\u00a0<\/strong>
\n“Do you want to be a king spiderman or a shepherd spiderman?”<\/strong>
\nLong pause:\u00a0<\/strong>
\n“Spiderman spiderman”<\/strong>
\n(Child: 1, Miss Felicity: 0 !!)<\/strong><\/p>\n
\nMiss Emily: “What about your great grandfather?”.
\nChild thinks…”I think he went to another country.”<\/p>\n
\nSecond little boy: “Their hearts will fill with blood”<\/p>\n
\nLunch bunch boy at bottom of stairs begins to sing: “Old Macdonald had a fum.”<\/strong><\/p>\n
\n“When you’re dead, you don’t move and you wrap yourself with toilet paper. Actually…. (pause for a few seconds), toilet paper it was just to show us. It’s called Ancient Egypt. I’ll show you when you’re dead”….<\/p>\n
\nFirst twin: “You know, next year at ‘Big Girl School’ we get to wear a dress every day!”<\/strong>
\nSecond twin: “But, it’s the SAME dress every day”<\/strong>
\nFirst twin: “Oh — that’s not good!”<\/strong><\/p>\n
\n“Which country do you think the Eiffel Tower is from?”<\/strong>
\n“Ummm. Eiffel-land?”<\/strong><\/p>\n
\n“It is a cat that turns into a butterfly. Cat-er-pillar”<\/p>\n
\nLittle boy: “Houses can’t fly!”<\/strong><\/p>\n
\nLittle girl: “Well, the Spice Girls sing”
\nTeacher “Are you sure?”!<\/p>\n